


Peach Rings

by apliddell



Category: Broad City (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, love declaration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:46:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apliddell/pseuds/apliddell
Summary: Ilana goes to Boulder to visit Abbi, determined to make herself clear once and for all!





	Peach Rings

“The fuck of it is,” Ilana hit the joint she was holding a little too hard and barked one big, eyewatering cough, “whew good one!” she fanned away the smoke with her free hand and pushed up her glasses to wipe her eyes on the neckline of her tank top, “the thing is, the fuck of it is, she  _ knows  _ I’m in love with her!” 

 

Di held one hand out and beckoned, “Girl, give me that thing before you put somebody’s eye out.” 

 

Ilana handed over the joint and watched Di light it and take a hit before she continued, “Like for real, Di. I’ve never not like. I mean like we’ve kissed! Slept in the same bed, seen each other naked. She showed me her poop once!”

 

“Jesus, Ilana,” Di put the joint out. “You can’t just surprise me with poop like that.” 

 

“I mean like what do we have to do for this thing to be real? Like, it should be clear by now, right?” Ilana picked at her flaking nail polish, “If I were a man, we’d definitely be um we’d be married by now, right?!”

 

Di leaned toward the coffee table for her bag of popcorn and scooped a fistful into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully, “I think every single lesbian I’ve ever met has gone through this. This is probably like the quintessential lesbian experience. You’re living quintessentially, Ilana.”

 

“Thanks Diana, super helpful. And I’m bi, actually.”

 

Di leaned across the sofa and crashed her shoulders against Ilana’s, “And you’re gonna see her tomorrow.” 

 

“Yes, ma’am that is. Correct,” Ilana clicked her lighter a couple times, then re-lit the joint and hit it, “I’m gonna see Abbi Abrams, the angel-assed love of my life in seventeen hours.” She blew a stream of smoke toward the ceiling, “I know I’m like. I mean I know I’m kinda. Selfish or whatever. Usually. But I didn’t wanna be like. I dunno like some shitty dude who won’t stop makin his boners  _ your _ problem, yknow?” 

 

Di shook her head, “This isn’t that.” 

 

“And even if I’m not a creep like am I even like. Do I know how to do this? Am I even ready for this? 

 

Di shrugged, “Does anybody? You’re obviously gonna do it, so just like. Do it on purpose.”

 

“Yeah,” Ilana clicked her lighter again. “I like that. On purpose.”

 

…

The pick-up hug was a long hug. It was a long, long hug. Ilana only sniffled into Abbi’s shoulder once, though, and she was kinda proud of that. 

 

“So um,” Abbi rubbed Ilana’s shoulder through her jacket. “Are you hungry?”

 

Ilana straightened up reluctantly, “I’m fuckin starving, dude. Lay it on me.” 

 

“Okay cool, I figured you’d be hungry.” Abbi lifted Ilana’s backpack and suitcase into her little blue hatchback and shut the bay. “There’s this really good pizza p-”

 

“Pizza?! Do they do pizza in Boulder? It’s not all like farm to table tumeric rubbed tempeh wedges and like kombucha salads?”

 

Abbi laughed, “Okay like first of all kombucha is a drink.”

 

“Not relevant!”

 

“And then also like I know like I was prepared to be like. Pffff whatever! But it’s such good pizza, man like my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Like. The sausage pizza. You’re not ready, Ilana like it  _ will _ knock you on your ass.” She opened the passenger side door for Ilana. 

 

Ilana got into the car, “That’s pretty appetizing, Ab. Pretty enticing. Not like I’d say no to pizza but yeah, lay it on me.” 

 

Abbi got in on the driver’s side and started the car, “Plus the guy who owns it is like so beautiful. Him and his wife are like. If every pointless, out of your league crush you ever had got married and had a baby. They have such a cute lil fat baby, too. Like there should be a show about them like I would definitely watch it.” 

 

Ilana shook her head, “Sorry, what? I’m distracted by the fact that you like. Learned to drive; this whole time you’ve been bragging about it over FaceTime I kinda thought you were shitting me, and now you’re like behind the wheel, and it’s all I can think about.” 

 

Abbi laughed, “Yeah, my roommate taught me. She lets me borrow her car, too. She’s super cool. I could teach you, if you want.”

 

“Am I gonna be around long enough to learn? Like how long did it take you?”

 

“Oh,” Abbi wilted a little. “Like four months. I guess not. I already forgot we don’t live in the same like. Timezone anymore.”

  
  
  


“That’s okay. I’m like terrified by the idea of driving anyway. Like me behind the wheel?” Ilana shuddered theatrically. “Bad idea, right? Just like. Considering my attention span and like. Personal history.” 

 

“Ha yeah, maybe not great. I can get you where you need to be, though. Like while you’re here. Unless my roommate wants her car back, then we have to Uber.”

 

“Do you miss the city?” Ilana hadn’t meant to say it and certainly not with the vaguely pleading lilt it spilled out with. She felt for the aux cord while she waited for Abbi to answer. 

 

“Not as much as I thought I would. Boulder’s a pretty nice place to live. Lots of like. Nature. Nice people. I’m learning a ton about art. I bought some hiking boots, so it’s like a new facet of my jock bi look, and I think it’s really working for me.”

 

Ilana nodded, plugged the aux cord into her phone and scrolled through her music player at random, “Right but like. After you finish your residency, do you think about like. Coming back at all?” She tapped a random track in the middle of a playlist and cringed when it turned out to be a bombastic pining love song. 

 

“Yeah,” Abbi nodded and raised her voice to answer over the music. “Of course I think about it. But I decided uh. Not to decide til after I finish with the residency.”

 

“Right, yeah. Cool. Just wondering.” 

 

“What about you? How’s school?”

 

“Um, it’s good.” Ilana skipped to the next track. “It’s really good.” 

 

…

 

**I’m freaking out Di!!!**

 

**_Oh my god did you tell her already? Did y’all kiss yet?_ **

 

**No way man i’ve been here like an hour we’re getting some pizza**

 

**_If y’all haven’t kissed yet you shouldn’t be texting me because you have work to do_ **

 

**_Pizza breath won’t help :/_ **

 

**Thanks Di that’s super helpful :/**

 

**The pizza looks fucking delicious actually i’m not gonna pass up on the pizza**

 

**_Just tell her, Ilana._ **

 

**I think the pizza’s gonna help**

 

**_Yeah you should definitely eat the pizza_ **

 

...

 

“Okay, so I think I mentioned this to you before,” Abbi squirted toothpaste onto her toothbrush and then talked around it as she brushed her teeth. “My friend Viri has a gallery show tomorrow morning at like 10 am, and I promised I would go, but you should totally come if you want and there’s gonna be like,” she spat into the sink, “Free mimosas!”

 

Ilana dug around in her toiletries kit for her toothbrush, “I’ll definitely go like besides if we’re up that early we can.” She paused and shook her head self-deprecatingly, “I was gonna say we can get the bacon egg and cheese sandwich from the bodega, but uh.”

 

“Yeah, we don’t have those here. But I could like. Make you a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. We have groceries.” 

 

Ilana shrugged, “Nah, it’s cool. I think the appeal is mostly like. The ritual. Fuck! I like lost my toothbrush? Or I guess I just didn’t pack it. Shit. I shoulda done checklist phone call with you, but I got cocky.”

 

“Oh, just use mine,” Abbi rinsed her toothbrush, then glugged a little mouthwash over it. “There ya go, all sterilized. No biggie. And tomorrow we can get you a new one after the gallery thing.” 

 

Ilana took the toothbrush, “Wow, toothbrush sharing. Hubba hubba. That’s like. Almost kinky.” 

 

Abbi nodded mock-seriously, “So you’ve gotten to kinkology in your grad program? You’re there? You’ve reached kinkistry?”

 

Ilana gave her a broad wink, “Tell ya a secret, babe. It’s all kink. Oooh, hang on.” She set down Abbi’s toothbrush and leaned past her knees to open the cupboard under the sink. “Hey, where is it?”

 

Abbi stepped over Ilana and took the seat she’d just vacated on top of the toilet lid, “Where’s what?” 

 

“Your toilet bong. I wanna hit it before I go to bed. Don’t wanna fuck up my just brushed teeth with bong mouth.”

 

“Ohhhh. Yeah, we have a no smoking in the house rule. And I actually don’t have a bong. I broke mine like bringing my stuff out here, so I just got a vape. But we mostly do edibles. Do you want some gummies?”

 

“Weed gummies?”

 

“Yeah, like I have these nice little watermelon indicas. Those are pretty good for bedtime.” 

 

Ilana shrugged, “Weed gummies always make me want regular gummies, so I wind up eating like. All of them.” 

 

Abbi laughed, “Yeah, me too. I just like keep regular gummies next to my weed gummies. I’m like pretty addicted to peach rings.” 

 

“I fucking love peach rings let’s do it.” 

 

…

 

“The childproof packaging on these is like a joke,” Abbi said, wrenching the lid off her container of weed gummies. 

 

“Ab, you’re like thirty years old. Why wouldn’t you be able to open childproof packaging?” 

 

“Ummm shut up, that’s why,” Abbi shook three gummies into Ilana’s outstretched palm. “You’re probably gonna want a couple more, but start there.” She poured some out for herself, then grabbed the pouch of peach rings out of her nightstand also. 

 

“Sweet, thanks, Ab,” Ilana reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of peach rings before tossing all three gummies into her mouth at once. She flopped backward on the bed behind Abbi. 

 

“Hey Ilana, “Abbi turned to her, grinning and holding out one of the peach rings. “Will you marry me?” Ilana promptly burst into tears. “Whoa!” Abbi dropped all the candy on her nightstand and brushed the sugar off her hands on her pajama pants. “Oh my god, Ilana, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m sorry!” Ilana wiped her eyes on the hem of her t shirt. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to like freak out but um. Uh. I gotta. I gotta tell you something.” She sniffled hard and Abbi held out her box of tissues from the nightstand. “Thanks.” She grabbed a tissue and took a deep breath, “Um. I’m like. Totally in love with you, Abbi. And I know. Or. I dnno. We were kinda jokey about it before, but. It’s not a joke, and I think I was only treating it that way, because like. The idea of scaring you away or weirding you out is like. Insurmountably terrifying. You're like the coolest, hottest, dopest, most awesome person I've ever met in my life. And uh, yeah.” Ilana wiped her eyes again. “You’re my soulmate and I’m. Totally in love with you and uh. That’s all for now, I guess.” She sniffled and made the hang loose sign with her right hand. 

 

“Jesus.” Abbi said slowly. 

 

“I know, right,” Ilana picked up the pouch of peach rings that Abbi had dropped and helped herself to one. “No pressure. I know that sounds dumb to say when I’m like literally crying, but no matter what you say, I’m gonna love you forever, so.” 

 

Abbi took a peach ring too, “I kinda thought like. I mean I thought you’d say something when I told you about Leslie. And then I thought you’d say something like. After she dumped me. Or before I moved. And then I like actually moved and I was like in my apartment for the first night and it kinda hit me that I really left New York, and I was like. Huh. I guess Ilana like. Changed her mind.” She lowered her voice to a raspy mumble, “And that’s dumb like. I should have just like. I could’ve said something. Soulmate is like. That’s a good word; I think that’s the word I’d use, too.”

 

“Okay,” Ilana was crying again over her wide grin. “We could like. Kiss.”

 

Abbi leaned forward and Ilana sat up to meet her. “Do you wanna like,” Abbi rubbed her nose against Ilana’s, “Do you wanna squeeze my butt?”

 

“Oh my god, Abbi.” Ilana gave Abbi a reverent squeeze. “You know me so well.” 

 

Abbi kissed her, “Like you can do it harder than that, if you want. I would be into that.” 

 

“Okay yeah, let’s try it again,” Ilana pulled Abbi in closer. “I would be super into that.”

 

…

 

“ABBI ABRAMS IS A STRAP KAWEEEEEEEEEEN! WOOOOO!”

 

Abbi tipped a pillow over her face to hide her huge grin, “Jesus Christ, Ilana. Maura’s going to be home soon.” 

 

Ilana slapped a hand to her forehead, “Like I’m honestly awestruck that your  _ immediate _ response to me telling you that I’m in love with you is to like. Strap up. Like  _ truly? _ Legends only. We are not worthy.” 

 

Abbi lifted the pillow off her face, still smiling, “Hey come here for a sec?”

 

Ilana flopped back against the pillows next to Abbi, “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Abbi kissed her. “Uhhh this is like. Cheesy, but I just want you to know that was like really special for me, and I’m super pumped that you made that happen for us.” 

 

“Wow, you think I can take you being this adorable? I can’t. Plus I get to touch that beautiful ass, now? I did not think this through at all.”

 

Abbi grinned, “I guess you’re just gonna have to get used to it.” 

 

“Hey babe, pass me the peach rings?” Abbi handed them over and Ilana poked her finger into one, then bit it off thoughtfully, “I love peach rings like when we get married-”

 

“Dude, married? We like just hooked up for the first time, Ilana.”

 

“Shush, we’ll do it when we’re like fifty and it’ll be like cute and kitschy or whatever just trust me. I’ve proposed to you like so many times already like c’mon and you literally proposed to me like less than an hour ago. Anyway, I would literally take a peach ring for a wedding ring, because they’re like. That good.” 

 

“I’m actually gonna have to agree with that.” Abbi reached for the package and poured out candy into her hand, “Oh no it’s the last one. Spilt it?” 

 

Ilana leaned in, “Sure.” 


End file.
